Special Me Through God

      Characteristically, I was once a very soft, shy humble girl. When I get angry, I get angry alone. I kept the anger to myself, and released it through prayers and forgiveness. The bible, the word of God was my friend. I love my family. My family had gone through a lot. My father was once diagnosed with sinuses that made him headache always and was once going through an operation to remove a tumor caused by the sinus. My third and forth brother were in messy social life, maybe because of the distressed caused by the situations, or the parenting way that was being held or maybe because of the peer pressure. I kept in praying, I asked my family to pray together and learn to trust the Lord. Gratefully now, they are all ok, all of them managed to get jobs and be together during festivals. Everyone might have seen the love that was being given, that the Lord had answered our prayers. Trust in the Lord.

      When I was in primary school, I always obtained excellence results in all my subjects especially Mathematics. Till I reach secondary school form 3, I was called a Math's freak. I was even once called by a friend as genius! But that wasnt last long.. When I entered form 4, I started to enjoy the youths life and slowly felt lazy to study. My results werent that good, till I reached form 5 and in my SPM I only got 2As. But I managed to get myself entered Matriculation. Entering matriculations gave me culture shock in terms of study. I did not managed to get good results, and I was very sad. None would know my results because I was very ashamed to tell that and because I was once an excellence student that I could not accept it. I kept those to myself. I remembered texting my father to apologize for the unsatisfied results eventhough we were under the same roof. How pathetic was that?🙂 But I still managed to enter a University in Kota Kinabalu, untiI graduated. 

Anyhow, I still believe that God has planned everything for me. As in the book of Jeremiah 29:11 said, "I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for." This verbs has been my favorite since I found it. 

In 2011, when I entered the university, I joined the Catholic Student Group (CSG). They organized a trip for a retreat at Carmellite Retreat centre in Tambunan which I excitedly joined. The theme was New Life in Spirit. I seek for healing as I brought myself and my past. I am a bad tempered and sensitive person. The very first session of the night called adoration was already overwhelming. I humbled myself for the presence of God and gratefully, I received it..I received the grace of God, and the Holy Spirit entered me and make me cried out, my body was controlled. When the session over, I felt light, my shoulder was empty. The ssession continued for the next day until it was time for the gifts of the Holy Spirit. I hoped amd asked for the gift and gratefully I received the gift of speaking in tongue. I felf very blessed and happy. I received the peace, eternal peace I might say, because I am not the same person as before, that the peace is always there no matter what happened, unlike before. Those days were the very best day of my life and I will never forget them. God also mentioned in the scripture that He wants us all to have the gift, especially the gift of speaking in tongue and receive the eternal peace. So dont be afraid, knock, ask and you shall receive.